Never Ever

There are certain things that you should do in life, and certain things you should never do. One of the things you should never do is to eat and drink whilst walking down the street. It just looks awful, Nancy Mitford would say non-U, and my grandmother would have a fit. It seems to be socially acceptable today, but it is not. Even if you think you are starving, don't do it.

Deportment

A definition of Deportment is " a manner of personal conduct, behaviour, the art of moving gracefully"
I was very fortunate to receive my degree from the Chancellor of Durham University, Dame Margot Fonteyn de Arias., " prima ballerina assoluta". She sat with a straight back on the edge of her chair, her head high, and then floated to her feet, moving forward to present each of us with our scroll and to shake our hands. She was poised, elegant and graceful. This can be learnt. I will quote from "The Elegant Lady";
"The right posture is a delicate balance of a straight back which is properly aligned with the head, with your chin neither too low nor too high. Your feet are somewhat apart, your stomach held in, shoulders back and down, arms to the side. This posture is formed by training, exercise and maintained by habit"

How can you learn poise? By taking good old fashioned deportment lessons( contact veronica@morethangoodmanners.com for more information) , pilates classes, ballet and ballroom dancing lessons. Your muscles need to be retrained, it will feel an effort to begin with to hold your shoulders back and your head up, but it will become easier. It is fascinating that your posture is also a reflection of your state of mind, if you are suffering from stress you will tend to hunch your shoulders, yet if we arrange ourselves physically in a positive manner as above then this will improve your mental attitude.

Not only is deportment an attitude of physical poise but also mental poise, a balance of self confidence, positive attitude, well dressed appearance, graceful movements and of course good manners.

As an aside I have taken up ballet again, after a 30 year gap, after my lesson I just glow with happiness, and I think how lucky I was to shake the hand of Dame Margot Fonteyn de Arias.

Past Pleasures

I had a very enjoyable lunch with Mark Wallis at the British Museum last week. His company brings history to life, it is the oldest professional costumed live interpretation company in the UK. Which means that not only do the "interpreters" wear historically accurate costumes but they also know everything that this historical character would have known. So for example Henry V111, would know all the names of his wives, his foreign policy, whose head he had cut off that week, his knowledge as a renaissance man, and even would know how to walk, talk and dance as a Royal Tudor King. So as an historian I find it fascinating, and rather like the name that the past is a pleasure.

How Not To Wear Black

Well I am addicted to the online magazine "Weekly Wrinkle". Their latest story is based on an article by Jules Standish a colour consultant "How Not To Wear Black". Most of us think that a LBD in our winter wardrobe is de rigueur, but Jules thinks otherwise. " For those women who do not have the right temperament and colouring for black please think again...black will make warm and some cool skin tones older because when up against the face it reflects and highlights all that is dark, shadows around the chin, lines either side of the mouth, dark rings under the eyes" Need I go on.
So what is the answer
Wear a black dress with a low necklne and ensure that your natural skin colour reflects against your face, or wear a wrap or scarf around your neck/shoulders, again to reflect colour on to your face. You will have to read Weekly Wrinkle to find out more. Needless to say my 19 year old daughter looks gorgeous in black

"Stinking Rich"

I went to a fascinating talk last week about family vaults, coffins and mausoleums, and thus learnt where the term "Stinking Rich" came from. To show off the family wealth, aristocratic and landed gentry families often built "wings" ( sorry what is the technical term? ) on to their parish church, and below them vaults to inter the family coffins in very smart mausoleums. This was much smarter than being buried in the churchyard, and it has even been suggested that it would enable the occupants of the tombs to leave their coffins should they have been "interred prematurely" . I don t think this was ever the case, but what was certain was that the tombs were open to the air, and the smell of the decomposing wealthy occupants wafted upwards through the floor boards, to their living relatives above whilst enjoying the Sunday sermon. Thus the term "Stinking Rich"